First of all, I would like to apologize to Dubb. He has been carrying more than his fair share of the weight on this blog, and frankly, he's done a fantastic job. But in all fairness, he does weigh like twice as much as me. However, my new year's resolution was that in mid-July I would start blogging more, so I promise I'll be better about it.
For my 'coming out of retirement' post, I want to address something that's been plaguing Dubb and I for a couple of years now: people wearing raccoon tails with their otherwise normal looking clothes. We first ran into this phenomena at the Indiana University Memorial Union while playing pool. Three characters, and I may mean this literally - I still don't know for sure - were wearing raccoon tails that had been fastened to the back of their jeans. Since then, I've seen a 35 year old woman wearing one in a shitty Chinese buffet in Indianapolis, two kids wearing them outside of Wrigley Field in Chicago, and Dubb's most recent sighting in LA.
Now, I've never been accused of being a fashion expert, but I try to keep my finger on the pulse of the industry. As soon as I saw Ed Hardy shirts in stores, I said 'it's only a matter of time until every douchebag I know has one of those,' and look what happened. However, the raccoon tails were a complete shock to me, so I decided to do a little research. I came up with two possible explanations.
1) Anime. I read that the raccoon tails might be part of an anime-inspired 'scene,' which is based on Japanese animation where girls are often depicted as cats....and apparently guys as raccoons. I have two problems with this: 1) I'm allergic to cats, so seeing girls dressed like them doesn't arouse me, it terrifies me, and 2) Why do guys have to be depicted as garbage munching scavengers? I'm not with it. If the tails have anything to do with anime, I don't support them.
2) Furries. In case you're like me and 30% of Americans and aren't knee deep in the furry subculture, it's where people dress up like animals for either fantasy or sexual purposes. The tails may be a badge of sorts to alert other potential furries that you're hip to their game. Now I don't judge anyone, if you want to dress up like the Easter Bunny and Bullwinkle and go at each other, be my guest(s). But if you're going to go - go all out. Don't wear just a raccoon tail and confuse everyone else. Stand up and be counted.
In my opinion, the raccoon tail people, no matter their reasons, should stick to conventions and sex shop back rooms. I mean, if their tails could make them fly like they do Mario, then shit, where do I sign up? But even the Star Wars fanatics and Trekies have enough common sense to look normal 95% of the time. I don't dress up like Allen Iverson everyday like I'd like to. I feel the raccoon tail people exercise the same courtesy.